When it comes to relationships, there’s no golden rule or guidebook to follow. No one can help you choose between being together, being yourself, being the victim, or being happy. It’s only you who can decide whether to end a relationship or fight for it. We at Bright Side have found these 9 characteristics of a dead-end relationship. If you can relate to any of these, end it as soon as possible.
1. You’re unhappy in your relationship.
If you often feel unhappy, uncomfortable, stressed, or even burdened, it’s the first and most important sign you’re in a destructive dead-end relationship. Just be honest with yourself, and admit that you’re in a “toxic“ relationship. Try to identify what ”benefits" this relationship brings to you. For example, it saves you from the fear of loneliness, or you’re too afraid to be on your own and you like to depend financially and emotionally on your partner.
2. You can’t be yourself when you’re with your partner.
When you’re with the "right" person you don’t have to fake anything: you can be yourself. You can be foolish and clumsy and not feel guilty about it. When you’re together you behave naturally, as if you were alone. If in your relationship you have to turn to your acting skills too often, you deprive yourself of the experience of being authentic, which holds you back from developing your relationship.
3. You partner is too controlling.
Watch out if your significant other spies on you, monitors your phone conversations, social media, and e-mail, wants you to share everything with them, and even demands you turn over your paycheck. Such partners only pretend to be loving and caring. In fact, they take total control over your life in the form of emotional abuse and invade your personal space. This is unacceptable in a relationship.
4. You live in isolation.
Your loved one is trying to isolate you from your friends and family, forbids you from using your phone or car, or maybe even prevents you from finding a good job? Those are relationship red flags. It’s a form of domestic abuse that leads to psychological and economic dependence on your partner.
5. Your partner is too jealous.
You’re dating an overly jealous and possessive freak if he or she causes big scenes in public, controls your calls, social media use, etc. You have to realize it’s not love. It’s a form of psychological abuse, and it shouldn’t be ignored.
6. Your partner always underestimates you and your achievements.
It’s time for you to leave if you often hear from your partner that you’re just an ordinary person with so-so achievements. They’re trying to convince you that no one will ever appreciate you, but the worst thing is that you start to believe it’s true. It’s your partner who needs help, not you! Apparently, your emotional manipulator has problems with self-confidence and tries to raise their low self-esteem by belittling you.
7. It’s almost impossible to plan your future together.
What are the main characteristics of a functional relationship? Mutual confidence, a sense of security, and plans for that far-off future together. It’s all different in an unhealthy relationship: you don’t even have short-term plans, and you’re trying to find an excuse for why you’re still together. If you never talk or can’t ever think about your future, it’s one of those signs you’re in a toxic relationship that leads to nowhere.
8. Your partner always tries to make you feel guilty.
Your partner always tries to put the blame on you for what’s going on with your relationship. As a result, you often feel like you have to explain something, although you shouldn’t. Your skilled manipulator doesn’t want to take responsibility. He or she will do everything to make you feel guilty, thus achieving their own goals.
9. Uncontrollable episodes of impulsive aggression.
Sometimes even the cool-headed ones can flip out, but it shouldn’t become a common thing. If your partner gets angry easily, especially when the situation isn’t that stressful, such relationships can be dangerous. Uncontrollable impulsive aggression always leads to emotional, economic, and physical violence.
Illustrator Alena Tsarkova for BrightSide.me